why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
