I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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