More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
