pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
