I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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