Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
