Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
