I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
