So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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