Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
