i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
