Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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