I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
