What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
