If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
