That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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