Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
