He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
