careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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