Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
