Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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