sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
