I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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