he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
