we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
