dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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