you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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