There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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