His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
