I seem to have left my pride at pride
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm at about main and main street
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
