Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
