Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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