I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
