you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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