we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
