you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
