I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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