We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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