I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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