Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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