We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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