Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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