I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my phone needs a breathalizer
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
