doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
