): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
