Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
