I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
