quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
