There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
