some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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