So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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